Love At First Sight

Cairo, Egypt (CHN) - A Retraction is being issued by The CHN Mid East News Bureau.  The following picture is not in fact from the movie 'Taboo 37';  the image below is of an Egyptian Woman who really really really wanted this internet thing shut down.  

2011. Strategic, Trusted, No Swashbuckling.
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Obama's Call For A 'Defecate' Freeze May Have Been Teleprompter Error

Constipated Americans Demand Answers Following State of The Union Speech

Washington D.C. (CHN) - Millions of Americans and a Joint Session of Congress began the unusual task of defecation avoidance following President Obama's 2nd official 'State of The Union' address Tuesday night.  

The President's speech lasting some 64 minutes was a call for fiscal and digestive restraint as unemployment continues to hover near 10%.  Congress loudly cheered the President's call for unity in the aftermath of the Tuscon shooting that left 6 dead and Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords fighting for her life; however his request for fecal restraint garnered little applause from the joint session.  

Environmentalists and waste water treatment employees nationwide are cheering the first ever call for Americans to cease pooping.  

However, the 5-year 'freeze on defecate expenditures' has already been criticized by Republicans as another far left scheme that eventually will force Congress to cut defense spending or possibly even raise medicare allotments for intestinal combustion.

Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin delivered the Republican response and roundly criticized the President's speech.  Ryan sees the anti-defecate plan as "just another attempt by this President to usurp the basic liberties of the American people." He added, "We warned that 'Obamacare' was too far reaching and this confirms our most dreaded fears; lets keep government out of our gastrointestinal system". 

According to reports, an anonymous spokesman for the Administration later stated "... to our knowledge there was no teleprompter malfunction as some in the press have suggested. However, some portions of the Presidents speech were intended as goals that may take years to achieve, as such, the President "recognizes, as always, that all crapping related bills are originated in Congress."

Mr. Obama chose to ignore ongoing calls to release his original, so-called 'long form birth certificate', following last weeks announcement from Hawaiian Governor Neil Abercrombie that he is unable to produce the document.  Democratic strategists have labeled those demanding the documentation 'Birthers' and now have now dubbed right wing critics of the Presidents tough digestive plan as 'Shitters'.  

2011. Strategic, Trusted, No Swashbuckling.
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Meeting At The Rose Garden

Obama; Clinton Caught By Live Camera 

Washington D.C. (CHN) -  Camera's Were On and Captured Obama and Clinton Discussing Some Unusual Issues prior to Martin Luther King Festivities at the White House.

CHN: Recent Tags and #1 Google Search Terms For Her Pleasure

"Forty Seven" Classic CHN Google Search Results:

1.  Genital Mutilation of Meter Maids http://bit.ly/hucdEp
2. "Peak Molasses" http://bit.ly/fCfZEn
3. Trig is the youngest known male to become pregnant http://bit.ly/hPjpzm
4. "far-from-kosher bouillabaisse stew" http://bit.ly/i8f6Ky
5. The Constant Distractions of Neytiri's Blue Nipples http://bit.ly/erfanU
6. "Obama, a left handed shooter..." http://bit.ly/eiT7IY
7. "Bush went on to describe the value of honor killing"  http://bit.ly/e4nAjy
8. Adult Diaper Revelation  http://bit.ly/htjk0W
9. "I'm not a fisherman or a fish scientist"  http://bit.ly/gIOXSx
10. "let's be honest this is mostly a 'feel' game" http://bit.ly/gC3z2Q
11. The Barely Legal Viability of America's Shale Oil (soft core) http://bit.ly/h5Vdle
12. "Aging Laker fan Jack Nicholson" http://bit.ly/fWOQ8b
13. Lucas: I'm from Modesto, CA.... we eat bullshit for breakfast there. http://bit.ly/fiPlwp
14. Dr. Laura Promises Not To Say 'Nigger'  http://bit.ly/eLSfEv
15. "we are surrounded by a bunch of pussies like Missouri, South Dakota, and Oklahoma" http://bit.ly/hIpc8C
16. "Love Seats n' Stools for Less" http://bit.ly/hLDiX8
17. "There has been a scourge of slut"  http://bit.ly/h0RusA
18. "Dixie has run away from home to join the circus" http://bit.ly/epf2pW
19. "The Anal Seduction of T. Boone Pickins" http://bit.ly/dZB4Uy
20. Tony Dungy Robot http://bit.ly/ikeQ3N
21. whereas Lebron James is the 'fucker' and the Cleveland clients are the 'fukees' http://bit.ly/fxwR3m
22. the average movie goer is "much much dumber than we ever could have imagined" http://bit.ly/fCz2hR
23. Lesbian Activists To Obama: Eat Shit  http://bit.ly/eTQQgZ
24. Executive Order for Napolitano To Get Nailed  http://bit.ly/gMyUES
25. BP Spill Clusterfuck http://bit.ly/icUtjv
26. "tongue comforting trans-fat" http://bit.ly/fnE0eb
27. Pew Research Polls Are Retarded http://bit.ly/dGnSt2
28. "36,000 gallons per minute of nip slipping water pressure"  http://bit.ly/htwPZZ
29. "an accomplished anagramist and comic book purveyor"  http://bit.ly/etQR73
30. DalesColonCleanseFormula.wordpress.com  http://bit.ly/i8L09s
31. 5,200 "pinches" of refined sugar http://bit.ly/eX4Bba
32. exploiting symbiotic aquatic relationships far beyond basic parasite extraction http://bit.ly/f4jEJX
33. Rumors had swirled for years that Fergie was very likely the actual Chupacabra http://bit.ly/eJMszI
34. Homosexuals Considering Formal Rejection of The La Vida Loca Singer http://bit.ly/g3wnjj
35. Swiss Chard sandwiches were all the rage http://bit.ly/hyzo8F
36. hands full with a crack pipe and balls deep in some dude http://bit.ly/hwRAbs
37. "steady influx of 'cunt rags'" http://bit.ly/ebeme0
38. "expired muff bait" http://bit.ly/hFF3RL
39. "Oklahoma City resident Jenna Jameson" http://bit.ly/gllnp1
40. "killing others with global warming" http://bit.ly/dWYEeJ
41. "my client had sex with a whorish hotel worker in Colorado" http://bit.ly/ggnUpu
42. "after we finished the measurement and inspection of the victims breasts we hit a wall" http://bit.ly/hX3JGE
43. We use the term 'boner killer' rather carefully around here because Katie Couric seems to just pop in and out of the production room like jackrabbit on smack  http://bit.ly/hoI8tc
44. BP contends that it carefully studied the effects of several types of music and can say with complete confidence that a boy band will win the hearts of the Gulf people http://bit.ly/gtP3Hp
45. Possible replacements for Laettner include Dominique Wilkins, Shawn Kemp, and a 9 year old Dwight Howard.http://bit.ly/hfcnE3
46. The November elections could give Republicans the votes they need to keep Meredith from sleeping with any and all selfish scumbags such as plastic surgeon Mark Sloan http://bit.ly/ib652w
47. LA County's other investments in capturing Cryptids such as the Yeti, Bigfoot, and the Loch Ness Monster http://bit.ly/fRc7Pe 

CHN 2011- All Rights Deferred Until 2015 or so.

2011 Pending Libel Cases (Vs. CHN)

•   Peolple Vs. CHN Pending Cases On Docket. 2001
• ▼  2011 (19)
  • ▼  April (2)
    • President Spams Millions of Americans In Possible ...
    • Three Weeks After Tsunami; Fish Found Alive
  • ▼  March (9)
    • IBM Investors Voice Concern Over New Product Line
    • Local Slut Adds Avocado To Chipotle Burrito Bowl
    • African Country of Chad Not Heard From In 10 Days
    • Who Is Susan Rice?
    • Muammar Gaddafi Promises That His Military Mission Also Does Not Include Regime Change
    • Rebecca Black Video Confirmed To Be Apocalyptic Summons To Netherworld
    • NCAA Tournament Expands As 5th Region Discovered
    • Muammar Gaddafi Maintains Confidence As His NCAA Basketball Bracket Is Decimated
    • Libya Peaceful After Gaddafi Grants Rebels 'Collective Bargaining Rights'
  • ▼  February (4)
    • Giffords' Recovery Continues To Impress Doctors; Has First Sexual Encounter Since Shooting
    • Roughriders To Face Green Bay Packers of Wisconsin
    • GOP Selects Guadalajara, Mexico For 2012 Convention
    • Did Obama Personally Train Mubarek's Egyptian Camel Brigades
  • ▼  January (4)
    • Love At First Sight
    • Obama's Call For A 'Defecate' Freeze May Have Been Teleprompter Error
    • Meeting At The Rose Garden - Video