Tuesday, March 29, 2011

African Country of Chad Not Heard From In 10 Days

'Not Even A Simple Phone Call,' Says Cameroon

Abuja, Nigeria (CHN) - A host of African Countries have begun a fact-finding mission as to the whereabouts of Chad, Africa's 4th largest country.  Media within the African Continent have been focused for months on Algeria, Tunisia, Egypt, and now Libya because of widespread political turmoil. However, some are now stepping forward to raise the uncomfortable question: where exactly is the Nation of Chad?

Above, an artists rendering of what Chad might look like
if it were sandy and located North of The Central African Republic
"The Sahara Dessert is a large place," admitted Sierra Leon of  the easy to find African West Coast. "I mean, these largely nomadic countries can get landlocked and just sort of dry out".

Ghana, enjoying acclaim for her recent soccer prowess, believes that Chad may feel 'kind of... forgotten'.  "You have this incredible excitement and fascination with Somali pirating to the East and the round the clock video loop of hunger in Ethiopia taken from some 1980's file footage.  Don't even get me started on our local starlet Darfur of Sudan; truly, that is a lot of attention for one's neighbors," concluded Ghana.

A search campaign has faltered in 
part because Africans can not afford milk

Rumors concerning Chad's homosexuality and HIV contamination have persisted for decades and the embarrassment of becoming the next 'Burkina Faso' is "enough to make any of us disappear for a bit," said an un-named source believed to be Burkina Faso.

But Equatorial Guinea disagrees, "Chad is not gay, and even if I'm wrong, I think that we should at least try to look up the country code to place some phone calls.  Lord knows we wont get any help from the National Geographic crews filming tribal titties in Kenya; but we must try nevertheless."

Mozambique did not return comment but is rumored to be taking a long and highly dramatic shower with streams of blood slowly diluting off of her body as the field of view expands to finally reveal a (clenched) knife yielding hand still trembling ever so slightly. 


Madagascar said...

I haven't heard anything yet.

South Africa said...

RIP Chad

Muammar Gadaffi said...

Has anyone checked with the Somali Pirates, They have a lot of stuff right now.

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