Sunday, October 4, 2009

Senior Citizen Promises "The More You Tailgate, The Slower I Drive"

Retiree Vows One Man Battle on Following Distance
by: Kaylee Strutt, CHN Traffic Correspondent, 11:00 AM PST

Glendale, CA: Mort Levinson has made a name for himself in the local community and he has certainly made his presence felt around his neighborhood and various surface streets along the I-210.

Mr. Levinson employs several 'safety' precautions during 'tailgating incidents' which seem to occur rather often. Glendale, in fact, has become the tailgating capital of the world according to Levinson. Mr. Levinson has developed specific procedures to deal with those that breech his safe zone. He begins by rapidly shifting his head and line of sight repeatedly between the rear view mirror and side mirror so that they know that he's 'on to them'. Then he taps the brakes several times to see if they are responsive to light stimulus; all the while chanting: “What is this joker doing” and “This will get em”.

Finally, Levinson reveals, “If they haven’t backed off yet I have no choice but to slam on my brakes and give them a taste of who they’re dealing with”.

“Mort has caused numerous multi-vehicle accidents in his neighborhood” reports LA County Sheriff Arthur Conway. “It’s very rare to see multi-vehicle pile-ups in residential areas but so far we have 36 on record since 1990 and he (Mort Levinson) has been the lead car each time”, reported the Sheriff.

“Let me explain something - I am a strict Constitutionalist, Levinson insisted with a deep stare and long pause. “Do you think that our founding fathers threw extra words in the Constitution just to fill space? No, no they didn’t. If you think the DMV handbook is any different than you are nothing short of an Anarchist”.

According to the California Department of Motor Vehicles the safe following distance is one car length for every 10mph of speed.

“If you come inside that one car length zone – I have no choice but to immediately make a complete stop” admits Levinson. He continued, “The idea that I would accelerate just to bring you further out of compliance is pure hooey. After stopping, I can’t and wont pull forward until you back up to at least one car length. Eventually people will learn all this. Until then, I have to get out of my Le Sabre and tell them face to face that they have no right to operate a vehicle in this state”.

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