by: Kaylee Strut, Comedy Hub Political Analist. 6:15 PM EST
In what seemed to be standard procedure, President-Elect Barack Obama sat down with transition advisers, State Department Leaders, and numerous 4 Star Generals to discuss the possible surge of troops into Afghanistan rumored to begin just after the Inauguration.
The three hour meeting was all but complete when Obama reportedly challenged Deputy Secretary John Negroponte and his staff to a game of 5 on 5 basketball. Negraponte is said to have promised to make the President Elect regret the offer according to an un-named source.Although the two sides never took the court, the situation escalated rather quickly from basic verbal shit-talking into a literal 'pissing contest' with Under Secretary of Global Affairs Paula Dobriansky out-distancing VP elect Joe Biden 13 feet to 11. CHN has been unable to confirm other allegations concerning challenges like: "oops the closet light went out" and "just the tip (to see how it feels)".
As promised, Obama (the losing team captain) complied with a truth or dare agreement by promptly shaving his chest and completing 4 sets x 25 fingertip push ups all the while chanting "Praise Alah". Finally, he fulfilled the dare by walking topless through the building lobby and out to the street where photographers had been called in to capture the historic/breasty moment .
At no time was Obama to remove his sunglasses or tuck in the drawstring on his shorts; both points of contention for the future Chief of Staff Rahm Emanual.
"I think we made some progress today" Negroponte told reporters after the urine, shaving cream, and KY jelly was cleaned from the 3rd floor meeting room outside of his office. "We found out what kind of nerve this guy has, so far I like how things feel... let's be honest this is mostly a 'feel' game when it's all said and done."
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