Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Adult Film Industry Can't Ignore "Offshore Drilling" Cliche Opportunities

by: Adriana Lima 1:56pm EST
Comedy Hub Analist

With crude oil prices still near record highs the discussion about methods to increase domestic production have taken center stage both with Congressional lawmakers and hardcore porn producers.

"We haven't seen an opportunity like this since the Watergate Scandal that made 'deepthroat' a household name and sex act", noted Adam and Eve Director of Marketing Andrew Tindal. Tindal continued, "This news cycle could usher in a golden era for adult film if we can cash in on a plethora of new available cliches... we understand that future opportunities exist in solar and wind but in the short run it is oil that will keep our industry fucking at full capacity ".

Mr. Tindal is referring to the flood of available catchy titles that are being generated from the debate about re-opening America's coastal regions for offshore oil drilling. The first round of Oil/Porn collaborative discussions have netted the following titles:

ANWAR; the oral exploration for liquid energy

Untapped Reserve, Finding the Glory Hole.
Deepwater Drilling for Cash
The Gulf's Biggest Rig
Bangin Sheiks
Cleaning the Pipes; Maintenance on the High Seas
Shipping A Full Load; Destination Asia
The Barely Legal Viability of America's Shale Oil (soft core)
Crude, Black, Explosive Liquid; 'In your face'
Alternative Energy, One Man's Pursuit of Truth (Gay)
The Anal Seduction of T. Boone Pickins (Gay/Orgy)
Natural Gas; Harnessing The Cleveland Steamer
Lubricant Adventures

Executives at both Exxon and Chevron have said off the record that the Adult Film Title opportunities during the current oil crisis can't be ignored. Filming will likely shut down 15-20% of domestic oil operations in the Gulf of Mexico and perhaps up to 40% of the Rocky Mountain Shale production which has consumers angry in the short run and cautiously optimistic for next seasons adult releases.


Kylee Strutt said...

Our industry supports 'Big Oil'

Kylee Strutt

Joseph biden said...

What an opportunity.

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