Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Evidence Mounting: Wild Orca is Killing Other Animals

Shocking Details Suggest That At Least One Killer Whale has begun a Ritualistic Killing Spree

San Diego, CA: Less than one month after the tragic death of Seaworld trainer Dawn Brancheau, news has been leaked that an Orca living in the wild is exhibiting the same bloodthirsty behavior only this time on other sea creatures. An un-named Sea World biologist began conducting research on a wild Killer Whale following the tragic disaster in Orlando. The results thus far have have been alarming and grotesque.

'Fluffy Face', the name given by Sea World staff, is a 12 year male Orca from the 'Cuddly Bunny' Pod. The Whale appears to be hellbent on murdering and consuming roughly 3% of its body weight every day. The victims are categorized as 67% fishes, 27% marine mammals, and 6% squids. The attacks (always unprovoked) seem cold and calculated, "It's being carried out as some sort of perverted routine, I mean, it's like clockwork," reported the researcher who claims to be under a strict code of silence from Sea World. Videos that will likely never be released show the crazed whale stalking and then eating its victims, absolutely no sense of guilt has been measurable. "The entire sea is likely to soon just be a massive pool of blood," feared the biologist.

Previous knowledge about the elusive Orcas concluded that a diet of dead fish, usually hand fed after whimsical jumps or flips was the only interaction with sea life that Killer Whales would be willing to engage in.

"It's one thing for an Orca to grab a trainer by her hair and accidentally drag her to the bottom of the exhibition tank while crushing parts of her torso and scalp, we realize that those sort of things just happen in our business", said a long retired Busch Gardens trainer who had only been accidentally attacked 4 times. He continued, "We could have never guessed that a second wild Orca is terrorizing the Pacific Northwest Salmon population in some sort of sick copycat crime. Our worst fear is that other Orcas from within Puffy Face's pod might acquire some of the same behavior".

The Comedy Hub Network (CHN)
"Pretty good stuff to read while you poop"

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Animal Lover said...

That is disgusting; how can we kill it?

Anonymous said...

We can only hope that it eventually turns on itself.

iheartfishes said...

this story is fabricated, these whales are harmless, shame on you for making up a lie like this.

whats next, a story about TIGER WOODS?

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