Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Clinton claims victory in South Dakota; Promptly Picks Obama as VP

by Priya Rai 8:44pm. est.
Comedy Hub Staff Editor

In a strange turn of events that has left even her closest supporters puzzled, Hillary Clinton has announced that she has selected Barack Obama as her Vice Presidential running mate. The news came as Clinton was surrounded by supporters who thought they were present to witness the former first lady concede the DNC nomination to Mr. Obama. Obama officially breached the required number of delegates necessary to win the primary on Tuesday night and essentially claimed victory in St. Paul Minnesota later that evening. But just 22 hours after Obama's victory speech Mrs. Clinton gave her own victory speech and one upped Obama who has not yet chosen a VP candidate.

Clinton’s remarks were brief and candid stating simply: "I accept the nomination of this party and confer with the great state of South Dakota that I should and will be the Democratic Nominee for President. After careful consideration, I have chosen a young, inexperienced, and largely unprepared Senator from Illinois as my Vice Presidential Candidate". Clinton then scurried off the stage and disappeared quickly by motorcade.

Although the press did not have an opportunity to question Mrs. Clinton after the 40 second speech; Bill Clinton, accompanied by girlfriend Gina Gershon, talked privately with reporters after the crowd of 3,200 had thinned out. Mr. Clinton admitted that his wife's decision to stay in the race was difficult. "It came down to simple math; what better way to win the White House than to take the rightful nominee and make him your running mate..... how could you find a more qualified Vice Presidential candidate then the actual Presidential Candidate from your own party". Clinton continued "You're questioning me but the real news is that John McCain is shaking in his boots" argued a defiant Mr. Clinton.

Several calls to the Obama camp have gone unreturned thus far leaving Democrats across the nation puzzled and somewhat pimp slapped by Mrs. Clinton's decision.

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