Monday, April 4, 2011

President Spams Millions of Americans In Possible Pyramid Scheme

CHN Has Attained The Following Email From Mr. Obama That Appeared In Millions of Americans Junk and In-boxes This Morning:

Subject: 2012

Today, we are filing papers to launch our 2012 campaign.

We're doing this now because the politics we believe in does not start with expensive TV ads or extravaganzas, but with you (Supporter 2,141,809) -- organizing block-by-block, talking to neighbors, co-workers, and friends. The sort of things that we hate to be approached about and invited to -- well, that's exactly what I want you to do. And that type of neighborhood by neighborhood conflict takes time to foment.

File Photo of Barack Obama Sending Email 
From The IRS Mainframe
So even though I'm focused on the job you elected me to do (and BTW I still plan to do some of that stuff I promised); the race may not reach full speed for a year or more. However, the work to lay the foundation or 'the base' for our 'campaign' must start today.

Based on your opening of past emails, I am making you my campaign manager for 2012. 

I need you to forge a new organization that we'll build together in cities and towns across the country. And I'll need you to help shape our plan as we create a campaign that's farther reaching (Libya) and more innovative (viral) than anything we've built before.

We'll start by doing something unprecedented: coordinating millions of one-on-one highly uncomfortable conversations between supporters across every single state except Mississippi, Alaska, Wyoming, Utah, Texas, and South Carolina.

This will be my final campaign for your money, however, as you know, the IRS is a federal office and your 2011 return will be carefully reviewed shortly.

Please know that the cause of making a lasting difference for our families, our communities, and our country has never been about one person; I also have a wife and kids. But my family will succeed only if we work together and if you are able to send me cash and convince others to do the same.

There will be much more to come as the race unfolds. Today, simply let me know you're in to help us begin, and then send me some cash (please do not write a check, if you do- please write it to 'Cash') and spread the word to your comrades. I will cut you in for 10% of each person that also sends cash and also hook you up with 3% for any cash sent in from anybody they refer. I promise to keep good records, so don't worry about your cut.

Thank you,
Paid for by Obama for America
Contributions or gifts to Obama for America are not tax deductible but trust me, they wont hurt.

CHN is brought to you by Pabst Blue Ribbon. Please apply to dry mouth and remember that Pabst is habst when you are not drinking and driving.


Joe Biden said...

"Contributions or gifts to Obama for America are not tax deductible but trust me, they wont hurt".

Glad he said it and not me.

Yours truly,
Joe Biden

Barack Obama said...

I also wanted to thank Americans for donating to help get Janet Nopalitano nailed a while back. It was really helpful for a week or so -

American Citizenry: Janet Napolitano Needs To Get Laid Really Bad

Read more:

Janet Napolitano said...

LOL! Yeah!

Jeffry Emelt said...

Trust me this is not a pyramid scheme, this is a new type of organization that you really need to get involved with early on.

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