Comedy Hub Roving Reporter
With The NBA Finals in full swing and NBA MVP Kobe Bryant now favorably positioned to regain lost sponsorships, agent Sandee Westgate has decided to sever Kobe's relationship with a few "2nd tier" advertisers.
"Kobe has long supported the American Kennel Club (AKC) but it would be inappropriate for him to continue with the ad campaign that was established prior to Mr. Bryant receiving the MVP award". Westgate added, "The MVP and return to the Finals have helped most people forget about the 2004 Rape Trail in which my client had sex with a whorish hotel worker in Colorado".
"Sprite, McDonalds, and Hanes have all been in contact with us this past month" added Bryant's agent, "the days of signing autographs for kids and attending local mall openings should finally be over, God willing".
Bryant's scheduled campaign for the AKC/Eukanuba National Championship in Long Beach, CA was set to air in early July. Ironically it had been rumored that AKC officials may have already been considering pulling the ad in which Kobe and 3 year old Grand Champion Maltese "Cosette" (Cosi) share a 45 second split screen speaking sequence.
According to unnamed sources Bryant lacked obedience and concentration during filming and seemed to have a problematic itch of his right ear. There is no word as of print time if Bryant will still throw out the first biscuit at the event that draws dog lovers and legions of gays from around the Pacific Southwest.
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