Monday, April 19, 2010

Pelosi Blames Accelerated Spending On Toyota Brand Gavel

Runaway Budget Deficit Has Increased 388% Under The Japanese Produced Hammer

Washington D.C. (CHN) - Nancy Pelosi, the first woman speaker of the House, took over the podium in 2006 after a sweeping mid-term victory by House and Senate Democrats. Pelosi
promised that business as usual would change and that there would be "No new deficit spending, no new bridges to nowhere, and no heaping mountains of debt piled on our children".

But the past four years share little resemblance to that original fiscal promise as record breaking Congressional spending has sped the deficit to staggering all time highs.

Pelosi answered critics earlier this week after bringing down her gavel on Health Care Legislation that many think will create further out of control spending that could crash the U.S. Economy.

"This gavel just takes off; sometimes there are legislative sessions and votes taken that I am powerless to stop," said a frustrated Pelosi.

Toyota has admitted the malfunction and has finally issued a recall on the Speaker's gavel. Toyota officials were quick to argue that the failure is isolated and OK'd continued pounding with all other models.

The gavel in question was built in the Fort Branch, Indiana plant in 2005. Recently, another gavel from that factory is reported to have malfunctioned in a San Antonio District Courtroom. Judge Hirum Windsel told CHN last Friday that "he brought his courtroom to order 375 times and rendered 820 decisions prior to taking 36 lunch recesses'. While he was very satisfied with his courtrooms efficiency, he is scheduled to have an MRI done on his right hand for possible stress fractures.

Additional concerns have been raised about the newly designed 'hybrid gavels'. The hybrid models generate kinetic energy from each strike and store the energy to operate a completely concealed Pez dispenser. Claims of projectile Pez have been brushed aside by Toyota management as operator error.


American People said...

Nancy Pelosi + hand job.

Toyota Recall said...

I dont think that Toyota is going to get off easy on this one. Those acceleration problems just are not going away.


Anonymous said...

My nickname for Nancy Pelosi is skeletor. You know, from HE-MAN

Anonymous said...

She has changed a lot in the last couple of years,

Must be all that poundin.

Go Spurs said...

Ive been in that San Antonio Courtroom. You def. get your right to a speedy trial down there.

Seth said...

Dear Go Spurs,
Any Pez or hearing related injuries to the heavy handed pounding?

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