Indio, CA (CHN) : It was the opportunity of a lifetime; at least that is what 17 year old Samantha Grigsby of Riverside, California thought after buying Coachella tickets months in advance in order to see Brooklyn based MGMT perform live for the first time. Little could Samantha have known that she would be just one of hundreds to suffer serious mental and self inflicted physical injuries after a deluge of new songs from MGMT wreaked havoc on festival attendees.

"They started dropping like flies out there" reported Dave Austin who was just one of many EMT's to respond after the 911 calls began to flood in. "Somehow we fought off the soul-less amalgamation of sound called "Flash Delirium" in order to reach the stage. Once there, we begged the band to play "Electric Feel". By that time, the damage had been done... the causalities were in the 100's".

Rolling Stone writer David Fricke refused to comment on where the new album placed among the all time worst ventures in audio history. He did say that "this wasn't the first time that horrible music has been written and performed live; it is however, the first time that the worst ever written music has been performed live.
As of press time, concert casualties have only been survived by those who were shielded by music performed on opposing stages by Major Laser and David Guetta and also those still stuck in the 4 hour wait-for-parking line between the I-10 and the Empire Polo Grounds.
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2010. All Rights Held By Antonin Scalia
2010. All Rights Held By Antonin Scalia
UPDATE: Survivors of the new album are reporting extreme loss of motor movement, balance, and ability to wear and/or try to wear flip flops. Warning, the following video should be watched with caution and dismay:
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THEY DIDNT PLAY KIDS AT COACHELLA!!!!
http://altreport.hipsterrunoff.com/2010/04/mgmt-doesnt-play-kids-at-coachella-pisses-off-fans.html
FUCK MGMT
MGMT Was Terrible at Coachella Festival. MGMT's New Album 'Congratulation' sucks... No thank you to 'Congratulations'.
The LA Times gave MGMT a cold review for their performance at Coachella. Muse was better later on, but MGMT got booed because they sucked, their new stuff is not good in any way I can define the word 'good'
Will MGMT be at Coachella 2011?
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