|Zuckerberg: "It's nasty time"|
Palo Alto, CA (CHN) - In 2008 Mark Zuckerberg became the youngest billionaire in the world and at 24 years of age one of the older virgins. Now at age 27, the man that lifted the Facebook concept from his fellow Harvard buddies, believes that his reclusive lifestyle of sexual androgyny has run its course.
In preparation for the big day, Mr Zuckerberg is planning to stop sweating so much, use the Clearasil that his mom sent, and to research how to grow pubic hair.
"As far as process - I have that down," says Zuckerberg. "I mean I probably could have done that at age 22. Kiss the mouth, touch the boobs, ask her to please turn around, and then ask a few questions about her sexual history and std's".
He continued, "I mean anyone can get to that point, the real battle is how to do that 'fake fight thing' where she calls you an obnoxious jerk and uses that old line about how your penis is so small I wouldn't even know what to do with it. From what I am hearing; that seems to be a request for anal".
So who might the lucky girl be? The depraved bachelor tells CHN that he has had his eye on a particular young lady for some time and he is very close to approaching her and asking for sex again.