Friday, May 27, 2011

Norman Schwarzkopf: "I'm Sitting By The Phone; I Mean, If You Need Anything"

Gulf War Central Commander Would Sort Of Like Everyone To Know He Has Some Extra Time

CHN File Photo of 1991 Normin
Tampa Bay, FL (CHN) - The walls of Norman Schwarzkopf's Florida home are adorned with a myriad of accolades - Silver Star, Bronze Star, Purple Heart; the list goes on. But for the past few months, 'Stormin Normin' (a nicknamed earned during Desert Storm) has been steadfastly waiting by the phone as portions of North Africa and the Middle East have fallen into widespread turmoil.

Schwarzkopf asked CHN to publish the following letter:
To Whom It May Concern,
As you know, I have a reputation for kicking tons of ass in a really short amount of time.  I have bridge on Tuesday afternoon and my grandson has a lacrosse tournament starting the weekend after Memorial Day. 

Aside from those prior engagements, I am ready for any calling that my country requests, so long as I get a nap near 1200 hours and another near 1450 hours. 

A few Weeks ago I joined the group 'Organizing For America' so that I could send the President a quick note. So, I shot that message over on the email and he responded with some message entitled 'We Do Big Things'. This was sent to me in error and should be looked into.

My grand-daughter uplinked me to a direct network called Face book. Face book immediately gave me full clearance. I linked up to the Presidents page within minutes. I broke the ice by posting a picture of Colon Powell and myself taking a nap during a 1990 conference call with Paul Wolfowitz, I assume he is still authenticating that picture before getting back to me. 

The current geopolitical matters seem urgent, so, as mentioned, I am by the phone for any calls initiated between 500 and 1600 hours. 

General Norman Schwarzkopf (Ret)

The General has requested that he be notified by email at for any written responses. 

CHN. 2011. News Updates: Facebook. Twitter. Home.
Who links to me?

Best of the Net Humor Links | Sponsored By The Plastico Blog