Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Obama, Desperate For Ratings Bump, Adopts Emmanuel Lewis

1986 Child Star Could Be Key To 2012 Campaign

Lewis, Left, Has Latched On Quickly
Washington DC (CHN) - The White House has a fresh new face and a revamped look heading into the early stages of the 2012 Presidential Election and it may be just in time as early polling suggests that the President is vulnerable in key swing states such as Florida, Ohio, Virginia, and Nevada.

Coincidence or not, those are all states that registered high ratings with ABC's 'Webster' during its original run from 1983 to 1987 and also later in syndication.

While the administration is playing down that connection, Obama's 2012 campaign manager Jim Messina was frank when asked about recent poll data from Rasmussen and Gallop, "We know that the election will be a tough fight and that we must have a grassroots mid 80's retro draw if we are going to have any chance of attracting the so-called 'Reagan Democrats' that are going to determine this race". 

Bo remains the President's favorite short/black play pal according to the Press Corps
"Malia and Sasha are not the same adorable pre-pubescent little girls that they were during the 2008 campaign," says John Zogby.  He argues that, "A twelve year old Emmanuel Lewis brings that innocence back in a major way; the type of innocence this campaign will need with 9% unemployment, hysteria over Obamacare, a full blown debt crisis, and ongoing trouble with Gaddafi in Libya".

Lewis, center, is hoping his 80's look will resonate with key demographics
"I think this Webster kid brings new energy to the team." boasted Vice President Joe Biden this Sunday on Meet the Press.  Biden, was then asked by David Gregory if his recent adoptions of Punky Brewster and Alf were appropriate while the nation was involved in two theaters of war and offering subordinate NATO support in North Africa.  

The Vice President snapped back, "Leave Punky out of this; Alf and I can handle the criticism; we always have.  And yes,  I do understand the natural synergies that M*A*S*H*, would bring, but trust me... We aren't going there". 

The Obama/Biden re-election team admits that it has unique challenges for 2012 and it may be of no help that the Republican field will take months to draw out a frontrunner.  That said, Rick Perry has been making major waves recently and reports that he is speaking with Tony Danza and a 13 year old Alyssa Milano will only add to the frustration for Obama's re-election team.

However, rumors that Emmanuel Lewis requested to breastfeed has only amplified the concerns of Michelle Obama that first surfaced after Lewis was found to be playing doctor with Malia on a regular basis.  Arrangements by Mrs. Obama to meet with the full cast of 'The Wonder Years' and 'Silver Spoons' for possible replacements ahead of the general election are being refuted by staffers.  Scott Baio, who recently lunched with Michelle Bachman and the surviving cast of 'The Facts of Life', believes that "with 16 months until election time; we  can pretty much play hardball with these candidates".




3 comments:

CHN said...

Washington DC (CHN) - The White House has a fresh new face and a revamped look heading into the early stages of the 2012 Presidential Election and it may be just in time as early polling suggests that the President is vulnerable in key swing states such as Florida, Ohio, Virginia, and Nevada.

Littleblackkids.org said...

And what of this report that Gadaffi has purchased the corpse of Gary Coleman?

Joe Biden said...

I want to be clear that we are not changing our opinion on signing statements or on opening up talks with M*A*S*H. Those were always viable options.

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