Friday, August 28, 2009

6,380 Found Dead After Cessna Crash At Forest Lawn Cemetery

Aircraft May Have Been Brought Down By Heavy Payload Of Granite
by: Kylee Strutt, CHN Catrostrophy Contributer, 8;45 PM PST

Hollywood Hills, CA: Thirty six hours into the worst disaster in LA County History, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa has refused to confirm the total number of casualties from Friday's horrific crash; instead the mayor has simply acknowledged that the loss of life is "far more than we can bare". Emergency responders have been on site without a break and are still piecing together clues that might reveal what exactly went wrong. The announcement came around 5:30pm that the search for survivors has been suspended with the focus now shifted to recovery.

An anonymous source has told CHN that a secondary and very curious story has been emerging concerning the very unusual degradation of many of the crash victims. "Some of these people look like they have been dead for 50 years, we just can't explain it."

The source added, "We do know that the group was probably en-route to a wedding or perhaps an awards ceremony such as the Grammys, these people were dressed really nice and even some of the men seem to be wearing make-up".

So far the LA County Coroner's Office has released the following findings which has the FAA puzzled. Only 2 of the 6,380 deaths occurred from the crash itself; the remaining 6,378 survived the emergency landing only to die of the following causes:

1,843 - Heart Attack, Cardiovascular failure
1,318 - Lung Cancer
1,132 - Car accidents
904 - World War 2
823 - Burned to death, only ashes remain
110 - Second Hand Smoke
91 - Natural Causes
74 - Drowning
47 - Suicide
26 -
Chatsworth Train Crash
21 - Chatsworth Train Crash Re-Enactment (link)
14 - Other Plane Crashes
7 - Lost at Sea and Presumed Dead
3 - Misc. / Animal Maulings
2 - 1994 Northridge Earthquake

LA County Forensic Investigator Deborah Peterson struggled with the difficult task of attempting to contact next of kin with the news that loved ones most likely survived the initial crash only to die from various other conditions and accidents. "The 14 poor souls that walked away from the crash only to board other aircraft and immediately crash and die just tugs at the heart strings," admitted a somber Peterson. "We should also make it clear that nearly all of these victims must have struggled for air as the crash seems to have left most of them embedded 4-6 feet below the ground. If you have heart problems or you are lost at sea then clearly having to deal with a limited oxygen supply can't be helpful".

The FAA rarely comments without a full investigation but officials have already tipped their hats that a ruling could be made as soon as next week forbidding both private and commercial flights from allowing passengers to lie down in enclosed 'travel boxes'.


Anonymous said...

My father went the same way - Cessna crashed into a Nazi Death camp in WW2. The food was so bad on the flight that the few survivors looked nearly starved.

Thanks again Comedy Hub for keeping all of us informed.

Anonymous said...

Kylie Strutt is Awesome, Great Article. So hott!! So sexy!!!

Anonymous said...

Did Kylee Strutt retire? I don't see any of her videos or articles here anymore. Kylee where are you?

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