Pippa Middleton Begs Press Not To Photograph Her During Naked Press Conference

Individually Begs 100's Of Newspapers Not To Publish Anything From The CD-Rom They've Been Given

Slut Pippa Middleton In A  2011 File Photo

London (CHN) - Pippa Middleton, the girl with the ass that bent over a lot at the Royal Wedding of Kate and William, is back in the news tonight following vague reports of her grandiose attempts to also avoid nude publication in several European newspapers.  

Princess Kate Middleton, who has a cute face, will reportedly have 100's of topless photos available for all to see on public newsstands later this week.  

The scandal, which has rocked the Royal Family, has riled the Queen to no end according to insiders at Buckingham Palace.  

Pippa addressed a handful of reporters Sunday, pleading with them not to photograph or provide any type of artist's rendering of her fully naked body; especially not in a 'downward dog yoga pose'.  

She also urged the press to reconsider publishing any images of her beloved Kate, saying only "Can you imagine the pain and embarrassment of having men across the world look at your exposed body with pure lust".  

Pippa closed the briefing by disclosing that she would also be very upset to see pictures of her naked body doctored so that her face looked way cuter.

CHN.2012