Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Confusion At State Department As Holbrooke's Last Words May Have Actually Been "Stop This Whore"

Holbrooke, 69, Died From Complications of Lindsay Lohan's 2005 'Herbie Fully Loaded'

Washington D.C. (CHN)- Those close to the veteran U.S. Diplomat say that he rarely watched movies of any kind but decided to catch a flick after a long meeting with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Friday. A family spokesman said that Mr. Holbrooke had become livid with Lindsay Lohan's acting style and ruptured his aorta during the final moments of the Disney film after claiming that if he 'attached a pair of tits and some red pubic hair to his asshole that he could have turned in a better acting performance'.

Lohan, performed like a 'slut faced whore'
according to Holbrooke
Doctors attempted an emergency surgery but failed to save the man that President Obama chose as a special envoy to Afghanistan, and who many of the wars toughest critics felt was the best chance to stop the ongoing action by U.S and its Allies.

Holbrooke, still conscious before the surgery seemed to be quoting the Lohan movie sarcastically and was still visibly shaken by Lohan's performance.

His final words, first thought to be 'Stop this war', have now been confirmed by hospital staff to have actually been 'Stop this whore'.

Holbrooke is survived by several family members, most of the remaining American soldiers in Afghanistan, and Lindsay Lohan's agonizing acting career and fluctuating breast size. 



4 comments:

CHN said...

Washington D.C. (CHN)- Those close to the veteran U.S. Diplomat say that he rarely watched movies of any kind but decided to catch a flick after a long meeting with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Friday. A family spokesman said that Mr. Holbrooke had become livid with Lindsay Lohan's acting style and ruptured his aorta during the final moments of the Disney film after claiming that if he 'attached a pair of tits and some red pubic hair to his asshole that he could have turned in a better acting performance'.

Joe Biden said...

What a dirty no good slut. How many more have to die... how many more.

Mr. Lohan said...

Lindsay Lohan is a whore head slut monger that can't seem to keep her breasts at full size. Damn I agree with this article. Every God-Damn word of it.

Love,
Christian Laettner

Dick Cheney said...

Since 2005, Lohan's performance in that Love Bug movie has saved or created millions of terrorists. When will America wise up and tell these Assange/Lohan types that we don't want there putrid acting and leaked national security secrets.

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