Monday, October 4, 2010

Tony Dungy Robot Goes Haywire; Electrocutes NBC Staff

Rodney Harrison and Bob Costas In Critical Condition Following Accident

New York, NY (CHN) - Staff at NBC are still reconstructing the events that led to a complete and total failure of the Tony Dungy Robot. The malfunction occurred during the Sunday night post-game wrap up following the Eagles and 49ers Week 5 match-up.

NBC Scientists originally developed the robot in 2009 shortly after Dungy decided to re-neg on his 3-year contract with NBC's "Sunday Night Football" so that he could spend more time with family. Despite regular malfunction and non-human functionality, NBC has continued to use the robot up until the catastrophic failure Sunday. 

NBC Staff and a Naked Tony Dungy Robot During Happier Times in 2009
NBC producer Fred Gaudelli spoke frankly to CHN about the incident, "We tried to limit use of the Dungy Robot to statistical assessment. As time went on viewers didn't seem to take offense to the robots lack of human eye movement, facial cohesion, or mind boggling awkwardness. I think we got cocky and just rode that robot until it failed". 

Early reports indicate that Bob Costas was wrapping post game discussion with the Dungy Unit and attempting to segue to Mike Florio for review of Ben Roethlisberger's return to the Steelers. 

The Dungy Robot reportedly began to experience voltage irregularities and immediately started to regurgitate Peyton Manning stats from the Indianapolis Colts 2006-07 Super Bowl season. 

Investigators believe that at some point the wiring originally meant to control eye blinking and speech inflection finally burned through the Dungy Robot's thin fiberglass skin causing mass electrocution and fire to the 'Football Night In America' Set.

NBC will replace the injured Rodney Harrison and Bob Costas with back-up robots for 3-4 weeks but promises to phase out the use of all future robots with the exception of the current Jay Leno model which isn't scheduled to be scrapped until the spring of 2014. 


Christian Laettner said...

I had it all wrong; I thought that Tony Dungy was being operated by 1970's digital movie technology. Leave it to CHN to set my straight.

Ben Roethlisberger said...

Any chance that Andrea Kramer is also a robot? If not, what would be the process to make one... maybe have it look a little younger and stuff.

Ben Roethlisberger

TD said...

I think that this is a cheap shot at the many hard working robots that simply go to work everyday and do the hard work that most Americans wont do. The Dungy was overworked and under-loved... thats all.


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