by: Seth Champi , 11:33 AM PST
Comedy Hub Janitor
Barack Obama's World Tour continued Friday as he met with leaders and supporters in Paris during his rock-star-like extravaganza. During the trip Obama has famously played basketball with troops in Afghanistan, spoke to 100,000's in Germany, underscored his commitment to Israel, and now finally announced that he will not be returning to America as previously planned.
The news broke apparently as wife Michelle sent a text message to her mother reading simply "for the first time I'm proud of America; but Europe is better - it's FXXXing awesome out here - wont be back :}~me.... xoxo".
Hillary Clinton seized on the possible news that Obama may have to withdraw his presumptive DNC candidacy; but sources close to Obama are not worried and believe that Mr. Obama will be able to not only win the Presidency while on the beach in the French Riviera but will be able to handle the job as leader of the free world in between afternoon drives on the German autobahn and his newfound hobby of tasting Swiss chocolate.
DNC reps are scrambling to set up a satellite feed for the convention that will allow Obama to deliver his acceptance speech in Denver while enjoying the splendor of Italy's Amalfi Coast and perhaps a trip to the Blue Grotto; just a short boat ride from the island of Capri.
Other speculation that Obama may select UN Secretary General Kofi Annan as his Vice President have not been confirmed.
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