What Are We Are Doing To Delay Engagements?

Men Trying Older Proven Methods As Well As Contemporary Ideas To Prevent Marriage

Gottman Relationship Institute (Seattle, WA) - A struggling economy, generational shifts in marriage, and the likely possibility of sluts in the neighborhood has pushed the average age for first marriages from 19 in 1950 to 26 in 2011. 

Displaying the fetal position (especially in public) continues to be a trusted response to any female request

National relationship expert Dr. John Gottman explains that men are having more and more success stringing women along thanks to information sharing on Facebook and other social networks.

"After thousands of years with nearly no communication between their male counterparts; men have begun to work together to develop methods to fend off marriages; the results have been remarkable," concluded Mr. Gottman. 

Other conclusions from Gottman confirm that the availability of sluts in both cities and rural areas along with the advent of free unlimited porn can keep men satisfied for most of their adult lives.  But Gottman does agree that most men will need to settle down eventually for the purpose of geriatric care and for the raising of any children that can be tied to men via DNA evidence. 

Until that day comes; Gottman shares his Top 9 methods to delay engagements with CHN readers:

1. Mention the growing desire to restart that porn website idea that had so much promise in 2002
2. Stare at waitresses asses 50% longer than previously
3. Pets all seem to be dying on your watch
4. Stare at waitresses tits 75% longer than last weeks 30% increase
5. Spend a lot more time huddled into a corner of the attic listening to New Kids On The Block
6. Let those unemployment checks go ahead and run out 
7. Have kids with past girlfriends/wives
8. Invite your mother over to review girlfriends cleaning habits
9. Incontinence

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