Underground Dentist Cleans Teeth Day Before You Go To Dentist You Have A Crush On

'Street Dentists' Booming In Areas Most Affected By Attractive Dentists

San Leandro, CA (CHN) - Jenny Kasuno received a reminder postcard in the mail last Friday and realized that she only had 6 days until her bi-annual dental cleaning. For Jenny, that reminder meant one thing - a call to Harare Mugabe, underground dentist.

Jenny was introduced to Mugabe by a friend 3 years prior, "I had a bad checkup; my dentist (who is extremely sexy) said that I had plaque and tartar buildup under my gum-line. The embarrassment was overwhelming," said Kasuno.

Mugabe, a well respected dentist in his native Zimbabwe, has had difficulty achieving certification from the California Dental Board. "He doesn't speak English whatsoever," admitted Kasuno. She also conceded that, "He was trained exclusively with wood tools and relies in part on tribal dancing to keep evil spirits from going near my teeth. "I can't just go to another real dentist in town because they all play golf together; I mean... I just don't have time to travel out of the area for my pre-cleaning cleaning."


With competitive rates of $8.00 per cleaning, most underground dentists work in secret unmarked locations, or in Mugabe's case, a vacant field behind the old mill. The key locations are far from the offices of dentists that most clients have crushes on.

However, a new problem has been slowly developing for Ms. Kasuno. "Mr. Harare is very tender and very thorough". Kasuno paused in deep reflection before continuing, "I could see a look in his eye that suggested he was irritated with the buildup on my wisdom teeth... Oh, I felt so bad. He performed a new dance using burning coals before eating a live frog; I just can't show up for my pre-cleaning like this again, I can't".

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