Historic 8.8 Magnitude Quake Will Not Affect Chilean Sea Bass Dinner Special

Eatery Cautiously Optimistic About Fridays "Macadamia Crusted' Entree.

West Hollywood, CA- Ted Bell, owner of Cecconi's Italian Restaurant, was all smiles this morning after a conference call with his seafood distributor; his mood was a full 180 degree about face from his earlier reaction to the news that widespread devastation had hit the South American Country of Chile. "The fact is I had already inked a deal with the LA Times Online and The Plastico Blog to promote our Friday fish special, I mean you don't just pull a fish special during the middle of Lent" said Bell. "Try serving an Italian Catholic a Chicken Cacciatore this time of year and Dan Tana's [Restaurant] will knock us out of business in 3 months flat".

News of the Earthquake and it's massive devastation have been slow to arrive because of widespread power outages, impassible roads, and dead news people. Luckily for Cecconi's, none of that will slow incoming fish shipments because Chilean Sea Bass is readily available from the Southern Atlantic, Indian Ocean, and other Sub-Antarctic Islands. In fact, the commonly known 'Chilean Sea Bass' is actually the Patagonian Toothfish that can also be supplied through private fisheries. Suppliers have confirmed that as long as fishing equipment and boat keys can be confiscated from any/all dead Chilean fisherman then the supply should be safe in the foreseeable future.

"I'm not a fisherman or a fish scientist", admits Ted Bell. "It's my understanding that this type of fish has large teeth and it may in fact be able to feed on the rotting corpses of any persons that may have floated off after localized Tsunamis". Bell continued, "If indeed my theory is correct, these fish may come in larger and in good numbers over the next 3 weeks. The way I see it, it's a way for those of us so far away, who can't possibly help, to unite as one with the Chilean people. They will always be in our hearts and perhaps momentarily in our stomachs along with a Potato-Parsnip Brandade and Piquillo Pepper Saffron Sauce that will really pair up well with a mild Chianti".