GOP Secretly Replaces Health Care Bill w/ Grey's Anatomy Script

Republican's Final Attempt To Stop Passage Could Have Unintended Consequences

Washington- Nancy Pelosi and House Democrats are close to a historic Health Care vote that could impose the most sweeping Health legislation since Medicaid was introduced nearly 5 decades ago.

Soon taxpayers will focus on how Season 4 of the ABC drama (which original aired in the fall of 2006) will affect the proposed inclusions such as the so- called 'Cornhusker Kickback' and 'Louisiana Purchase'. GOP lawmakers wont make any promises according to Minority Whip Eric Cantor. Cantor suggests that backroom deals, such as the union buy-off, will be resolved at roughly the same rate as Meredith Grey's multi-episode near drowning incident.

Constitutional lawyer Edwin Vieira believes that passing the legislation could forever change romantic relationships in the medical community. "Frankly, we are talking about 1/6 of the romantic relations in the U.S., this is no cash for clunkers," warns Vieira. He continued,"The question is can we afford this level of drama to extend down to the 30 million Americans who currently can't afford medical romance and intrigue. How will this affect the plans of those that are happy with their existing medical romance".

The Republicans primary fear is that a controversial 'reconciliation' between Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd (known as Dr. McDreamy by congressional staffers) could become law if they are kept out of the final legislative talks with Democrats. House Minority Leader John Boehner can't think of a worse choice for Meredith. Yet, Boehners aids have said privately that the November elections could give Republicans the votes they need to keep Meredith from sleeping with any and all selfish scumbags such as plastic surgeon Mark Sloan, whom Boehner believes is nothing but a 'selfish womanizer' that would be better served as a professional gigolo then a doctor.

Senator Jim Inhofe (Oklahoma) has already begun authoring a bill that would prohibit any further inter-racial relationships or ill-fated engagements for Cristina Yang. Inhofe guarantees that we will all be seeing a lot more of Ms. Yang in future episodes as long as he holds a chair position on the powerful Health and Human Services Committee.

All of this comes on the heels of the Republicans botched attempt to replace the 2008 Hate Crime Legislation with a three part series from CSI Miami that resulted in nearly 4 months of nonsensical testimony from Horatio Caine on just how exactly he fell in love with his brothers widow.

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