Respondents Likened Quinnipiac To That Guy You Didn't Want To Talk To At The Wedding According To Women 18-35
Stamford, CT (CHN) With November midterm elections fast approaching Gallop released a new poll today showing that they are by far the best polling service and are 47% less gay than any recent releases by Survey USA.
An ABC News/Washington Post poll released later in the afternoon confirmed the findings about Survey USA's alleged homosexuality but rebuked the positive findings on Gallop. By a margin of 88% the ABC poll found that Gallop had a slightly smaller to significantly smaller penis than Rasmussen Reports, Bloomberg, and FOX News Polls who all had normal sized penis's but suffered from old man ball sweat smell when it mattered most.
Ipsos McClatchy published a supplementary finding that 62% (margin of error ±3%) of likely voters had made up their minds that the pollsters at CBS News/NY Times hadn't been honest with Americans about their wiping habits after crapping.
Just ahead of college football season Mason-Dixon Polling and Research underscored last years data with a new poll suggesting that only 18% of seniors gave a flying fuck about the USA Today Coaches Poll. Blacks and Latinos held the opposite view and responded overwhelmingly that the BCS was probably responsible for the murder of Jon-Benet Ramsey and had significant or total control of BP's deepwater drilling operations.
NPR had no comment as of press time, however, Zogby and CNN published conclusive data from nearly 8 billion respondents that NPR and Quinnipiac had never touched a girls boob.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
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